ANNOUNCEMENT!!

      It has been quite a bit of time since my last post, and for that I apologize.  But let me assure you this past month has been anything but uneventful!  As most of you know, all of my posts have been about my happenings on the streets of NYC and Newark.  This time however I'm going to bring it home.  I'm happy to announce to all of you that as of two weeks ago I am engaged to be married!!
      For quite a bit of time I have been developing and pursuing a relationship with April Sobocinski, a regular volunteer with us here at the Relief Bus.  She is a person that has come by my side and supported me through my time as a missionary.  She has inspired me to be a better man.  She encourages me to continually take the next step in whatever I'm pursuing.  I can honestly say that I have found the woman that God has intended for me!  She has exceeded my expectations for a wife! And she truly has received the short end of the stick with me! 
      About two months ago while having coffee with her father, asking for his blessing, he started to reminisce about his marriage.  He told me that when you know, you know.  I know!  This is the woman I love and will do everything I need to do to have her by my side!
      Even as I write this it is difficult to convey my passion for the future with my fiance!  I am beyond excited to see what the Master has in store for us!  Please pray for April and I as we take the next step in starting our lives together!  Grace & peace to you all...

 

A Journey Through the Streets of Newark...

       Prior to coming on as a full-time staff member with the Relief Bus I had the privilege of volunteering with the outreach in Newark's South Ward.  When I began volunteering, another missionary, Jim Berry was running the Newark operation.  Much has changed in that neighborhood over the past three years, but there was one gentlemen that I vividly remembered even then. His name is Fred. 

       Fred was chronically homeless, addicted to heroin, in and out of jail, sold drugs, and was known around that particular neighborhood as a "bum".  Despite all of this, Fred regularly continued visiting us at the Bus.  Always thankful to see us.  For the past year, each week that Fred came, I would do the same as Jim had done each week three years ago -- offer hope.  For four years Fred's response was always the same, "one day I'll give you guys a call.". 

        About a month ago, as I was leading the outreach in Manhattan, I got call from our base.  Yaz, a fellow missionary, told me that a homeless gentleman had knocked on the door and was looking to get into a detox.  Because we are based out of Elizabeth this is not an uncommon occurrence.  Unfortunately, we couldn't get him into detox until Monday and it was Wednesday.  Yaz asked me if I knew of a shelter we could put him in until then.  I gave him some advice then hung up the phone, not thinking anything of it.  Following the outreach, we returned to the base. To my utter shock and disbelief I saw Fred sitting in our conference room!  After four years of seed sowing by Jim, myself, and countless other volunteers, Fred woke up that morning and decided enough was enough.  

      Having worked this job for over a year, there is only one other time have I seen someone as dedicated and excited about turning his life around.  For the next three days Fred spent his time at the base with me in order to keep himself off the streets and away from the dealers. I'm happy to announce that after successfully completing detox we were able to connect Fred with a rehab to continue getting his life together!

       Please continue to pray for our friend as God continues to unravel the years of addiction and hopelessness that has plagued Fred for years! Below the picture is an article that Jim Berry wrote three years ago about Fred, I hope you all enjoy!! Grace and Peace...

Myself, Fred, and Jim about a month ago

Freddie—was laid off from his job like many others at his job. He began to collect unemployment, but once his check ran out, unable to find more work, he became homeless. He’s been homeless at least 3 months now, struggling with feelings of shame and fear, he said, “I don’t smell, I stink! I can’t even get a shower, and no one will hire me because I stink. I’m embarrassed!” He’s tried going to shelters, but many of them have been unsafe because of the rising problems of theft, thus its been weeks since his last shower. His situation sounds hopeless, but I began to encourage Freddie that there is hope and to not give up. I prayed with Freddie and gave him some info on where he could go for help, a shower, and work opportunity. He doesn’t know God yet, but he is seeking after Him, please pray that Freddie would find a true relationship with God and that he would find employment and housing in these difficult times.

Fred and Jim three years ago

The Harvest...

"A farmer went out to plant some seeds."

~ Jesus

(Matthew 13:3)

        The interesting thing about the parable of the sower is that he has no control of the seed once it leaves his hand.  Despite knowing a large portion of his labor will prove to be unfruitful, faithfully he goes.  Over the past year this parable has come alive, it has taken a tangible form, and put on flesh.  Day in and day out we go into some of the worst neighborhoods of Manhattan, the Bronx, and Newark sowing seeds of hope, love, and grace.  Some listen, some don't.  In the midst of prostitution, drugs, alcohol, HIV, violence, homelessness, and systemic injustices it often feels as if the ground we sow in is rather barren.  In the midst of this craziness however, only by the grace of the Master, we see miracles.  Sometimes we have to be on the lookout, but they do happen, everyday.  All I can do is hold on and see what God does with the seeds I have the privilege of scattering.

       That being said it is nice to sometimes sit back and see all that God has done through us over the past year.  A few days ago the staff had the opportunity to see our numbers for 2011.  I would love to share these numbers with those of you that support us here so that we may celebrate together!

Units of Food and Drink Served: 339,778

Prayers Offered on the Street:  7,665

People Who Received Clothing:  12, 469

Bibles Distributed:  717

Info Sheets Handed Out (food pantries, clothing pantries, shelters, housing agencies):  2,724

Office Visits (one on one encounters with a staff person to discuss life change):  874

Referrals: 620

This next one excites me the most!

Decisions for Christ: 208

        As we move forward into 2012 I can only hope and pray to see numbers that exceed what we saw in 2011!  If you and your family haven't done so already, please consider partnering with me on my team for 2012.  If you have any questions please don't hesitate contacting me.  And as always please keep us in prayer as we continue walking the journey God has set before us.  Grace and Peace...

 

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The Hidden Jesus...

But when you give to someone in need, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.  Give gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.

~ Matthew 6: 3-4

  At the risk of sounding falsely humble or awkwardly transparent, I begin typing this end of the year entry. Its officially been an entire year since I came on board as a full-time missionary at The Relief Bus. I wish I could articulate the things I have seen, learned, succeeded in, screwed up, and the relationships I have made.  But I can't.  I have found that over this past year I haven't "saved" anyone. On the contrary, I discovered that its not my job to “save” anyone. However, I have had the privilege and honor of traveling this road we call "life" with some amazing people.  And I have also discovered that in the midst of this journey God somehow seems to be saving us all.  

That being said, my biggest struggle this past year has been rooted in that verse in Matthew. What does the Master prefer: a kind act done in secret or a kind act documented for the masses?  How much of the journey is appropriate to document? Many of my fellow travelers battle serious struggles such as heroin addiction, homelessness, prostitution, and mental illness. And I am left wondering where to draw the line between minister and brother... or whether a line should actually exist. I have met two men who have laid hold of the commandment in Matthew. Their names are Rod and Herb.

        Every year the Relief Bus does a thanksgiving outreach to our Harlem and South Bronx sites.  The two Saturdays preceding Thanksgiving, we abandon our soup containers and cater a turkey dinner. As I was preparing to set up the South Bronx outreach, it occurred to me that I had absolutely no catering experience and had no idea what I was doing. To make matters worse, I had around 25 volunteers staring at me, waiting for some kind of instruction.  Then seemingly out of nowhere my friend Herb came to say hello.  I met Herb five months prior and ministered to him through a difficult time.  After our quick hello, Herb told me that he had previously had a professional career as a caterer. He offered his help. At that moment, a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders.  For the next three hours Herb helped me manage the operation.  After all the food was gone, I thanked him for all that he had done.  He shrugged off my appreciation and explained that this is what he does with his time.  Herb is active in his church, mentors youth (without the aid or recognition of an organization), organizes the kids in his neighborhood in civil service activities, and actively takes care of five different seniors who are physically unable to go to the food pantries.  Herb is also currently homeless, staying with different friends as he looks for available housing.  

         I met Rod for the first time in Newark's South Ward last winter.  Over this past year he came to the bus once or twice a month for some soup and a hello.  About a month ago, I asked Rod to tell me about himself.  He is retired, living in Newark's South Ward. He also tends to the needs of the homeless in that neighborhood everyday, on his own. He told me of the different places he visits each night around ten to go feed and encourage the homeless.  It happens to be one of the worst neighborhoods in Newark and not a place one would normally want to be at 10pm.  He explained that it doesn't matter to him whether they decide to change, Jesus has called him to love them in their circumstances, no questions asked.  After his church found out what he was already doing they recently ordained him as a deacon.  

        I am humbled to serve and travel alongside these men.  In them I see everything I aspire to be before the Master.  Regardless of ordinations, recognition, success, money, blogs, the church, organizations, or even life change for those they are serving, these men remain faithful to the calling of Christ. They are not looking to be known or documented, but to serve and to love.  It is in these quiet acts of love and grace I desire to serve as well.  In this Christ resides and this is His home.  I look forward to all of us meeting Him in these quiet places this upcoming year.  

Please pray for housing for Herb and strength for Rod.  

I hope that all who read this have a very Merry Christmas as we celebrate the birth of the One who loves us very much! Grace and Peace...

I Need Thee Every Hour...

"I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.
I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;
Temptations lose their power when Thou art nigh.

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
O I need Thee every hour;
I need you Lord, O bless me now,

My Savior, I come to Thee."

        This is the first verse of an old hymn written by Annie Hawks entitled "I Need Thee Every Hour."  It's one that I remember listening to in the pews of the Baptist church I grew up in.  Although I've known its lyrics since before I was ten, its truth has become increasingly more powerful in my life the older I get.  Every time I hear it playing however I am reminded of my good friend Alice in the South Bronx.

        When I first took over the spot in the South Bronx I was told of our friend who would come every week to sit down in our office and rest for a few minutes.  Other than the fact that she was completely blind I knew nothing else.  For the next few months I would always attempt to set aside a few minutes in the midst of our busyness to sit down and talk with her.  Over time as we learned to trust each other I began to see a woman who is more dependent on Christ's strength than almost anyone I've ever met.

        Alice was not born blind, due to an illness that struck her a few years ago she was left with no vision.  She now has to be guided by an aid everywhere she goes. Along with her vision, her husband left shortly after that.  Although she has three grown children, every week in tears she asks me to pray for them that God would keep them safe in the midst of their "activities" and that they turn to God instead of their own pleasures.  And about two months ago Alice was informed of her need for back surgery due to severe scoliosis.

        Despite all that has been stacked against her the joy and innocence beaming from this tiny woman is astounding.  She still remains faithful to her husband (despite their separation she still wears her ring and refuses to divorce), to her children, and to her God.  Every week I pray for sight and every week I pray also for a miracle with her back, but the real miracle has already manifested: her smile and her strength.  Just the other week as I was having a bad day, in the midst of our discussion she asked me what was wrong.  She had sensed in my voice that all was not well.  I thank God for this friend of mine who I have the honor and privilege to serve every week through simple friendship.

        Please pray for Alice as she makes preparations for back surgery, pray for her children and husband,  pray that God continue to give her the strength to be the rock in her family, and please pray for sight...  Grace & Peace to you and your family....  

Alice & I...

Jesus in the Middle...

        Over the past few days we've all heard about the "Occupy Wall Street" protest taking place in lower Manhattan.  I tend to not pay much attention to the news, but was intrigued at how it seems to be gaining more and more momentum around the country, so I decided to go and take a look for myself.  Riding into the city I wondered where God was in the midst of all this, the protest, the financial district, the ministry, my family, the train I was in.  I asked God to reveal Himself to me that afternoon.  As soon as I stepped out from the World Trade Center I started to hear the drum circles and music playing.  I walked a few blocks south to Zuccotti Park (where the protesters are staying) and just watched as people from all ages united themselves.  I could feel the excitement in the air.  There were news cameras, posters, community activists, pollsters, business men, homeless men, flag wavers, drum circles, old men, children, musicians, face painters, artists, and every type of character you could imagine.  Although I'm still not quite certain what the exact message was, a running theme amongst all the participants was taking a stand against corporate greed and corruption.  I have to admit that even I had a difficult time not getting swept away in the emotion!  Who isn't against greed?  Who isn't for helping the poor?  Wasn't Jesus into that as well?  However before getting my face painted and waving a sign I continued on my mission to find Jesus in the midst of the chaos.
        I decided to keep walking just a few blocks south and take a stroll along the supposed "enemy's corridor": Wall Street.  It was actually surprisingly quiet.  Aside from an over abundance of police, a handful of tourist groups, as well as the usual men and women one would expect to find strolling Wall Street, it was rather empty.  After walking around and marveling at the overwhelming architecture I decided to buy some lunch from one of the street vendors and sit for a few minutes.  As I sat down to eat I observed an elderly Asian woman pushing a cart filled with cans and bottles.  I guessed she was in her late sixties, probably illegal, hunched over, wearing tattered clothes, and very dirty.  She was moving from trash can to trash can gleaning what she could.  As I kept eating my lunch I was struck at the awkwardness of how this woman (unknowingly most likely) was collecting plastic bottles in the between an emerging and established history.
        Thankfully a few minutes later I came back to my senses from my egocentric musing and realized that Jesus Himself had just walked right past me and I didn't even bother saying hello! Due to her age and cargo thankfully she had not gone very far.  As she hunched over to the next trash can I tapped her on the shoulder and asked her if she wanted something to eat.  She showed me that she had just pulled something out of the trash can indicating that this was her food.  I asked her if she wanted me to buy her something, which she responded to by muttering something in a language I didn't understand and walked off.  Realizing there wasn't much else I could do I walked backed to the protest.
        The protest didn't hold the excitement it had just a couple of hours before.  I couldn't help but reflect on the words Jesus said to Pilot in the Gospel of John, "My kingdom is not of this world."  I don't understand why there are social injustices, or homelessness, or prostitution.  Greed I suppose.  My own as well as others.  Perhaps the protesters have some truth in their message, perhaps they don't.  Regardless the more I work on the street, the more I'm beginning to realize that anything and everything without Christ at the center will eventually fail.  We can attempt to build a financial kingdom or a socialist commune, but until we see Jesus quietly walking between both worlds, both will come to nothing.  I'm not sure if any of this makes any sense, but I do know I saw Jesus that afternoon taking a stroll between a dying economic empire and unsustainable social change .  Although I can't say that I saved His life, I hope I gave that elderly woman some dignity.  If you look I'm sure you'll find Him too.  Grace & Peace to you and your families! And don't forget to keep praying for us here at the Relief Bus!!

The Protest.

The Elderly Asian Woman Gleaning from the Trash.

Childlike Faith...

"The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them.  The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: 'Don't push these children away.  Don't ever get between them and me.  These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom.  Mark this: Unless you accept God's kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in.'  Then gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them."

Mark 10:13-16 (The Message)

         I was reminded of this verse a few days ago while serving on the streets of mid-town Manhattan.  On Wednesdays I am assigned to lead the outreach at Chelsea Park, at the intersection of 28th Street and 9th Ave.  Without a doubt this is a tough site.  The primary makeup of the site is homeless men.  It is a transient community that lives for one thing: survival.  I often say that if someone isn't mentally unstable before they become homeless give it a year and they will be.  The drug of choice for most of these men is "hopelessness" (but often times medicated with alcohol).  Without hope comes little desire for change.  These are men (and some women) who have been dealt some very bad hands for years and have become hardened to the core because of it.  My main function at this site is not to get people into shelters or rehabs, but to give these men and women something to smile about and something to hope for. It's not a place one would normally expect to see a childlike faith, but sometimes I find myself humbled in the oddest of places.  As a Christian I think way too much.  I dwell on things I shouldn't and often ignore the simple things right in front of me.  This past Wednesday I was reminded of a faith that I aspire to possess.

        I became friends with a woman named Ruth almost immediately after I started serving at Chelsea Park.  She is an elderly woman who has very little.  Every week she comes to me for her prayer.  And every week I pray that she would realize her value in God's eyes.  About a month ago I prayed that God would give her something to smile about.  The very next day she came across a hamster that she had found.  Immediately she took it home and adopted it as her own.  God had answered our prayer.  She came to me the next week wearing a big smile and excitedly told me about God's gift to her.

       Now if you are anything like myself something this small is often easily dismissed, as well as theologically and logistically explained.  But the Kingdom is not made up of people who dismiss the simple things in life.  Nor can it be theologically articulated by the great minds of this world.  The Kingdom, this childlike faith, travels outside of anything this world can offer.  

       As I was praying with Ruth this past Wednesday I prayed also for her hamster.  A miracle easily missed by all, except those who possess that childlike faith... Like Ruth...   

Ruth and I praying.